However, we live in a society where people marry and divorce all the time. So how do you save a marriage and avoid divorce in a culture where relationships don't last?
Marriage is not a fairytale or a movie with a happy ever after ending. It is a lifetime commitment that involves sharing your life with another person who is totally different from you. So, it's important to understand that your spouse is not perfect and neither are you. Making adjustments to grow together becomes necessary to make it work. Here are some ways to help you save your marriage.
Spouses tend to have a series of arguments or be defensive prior to a divorce. One spouse says or does something and the other is quick to retaliate. Become aware of your reactions. This requires self discipline and in some cases patience. You do not want to say or do the wrong thing to make it worse. Instead of reacting, try acting upon your better judgment.
Too many times, the spouse who doesn’t want to leave will badger the divorcing spouse to talk. But, sometimes your spouse needs emotional space. If this is the case, respect his or her wishes. Nothing you can say or do can make him or her talk if they are not ready. Take a raincheck. Give your spouse space and when he or she is ready, start the conversation by listening. Instead of trying to prove your point, understand the other person first.
You may have high expectations for the relationship. It is time to lower them a little. When saving a marriage, things are not going to be perfect. Everyone has flaws, but it is not a good time to bring them up. if there are some things that tend to annoy you at this time, you have to live with them.
Take the concerns of your spouse seriously when they say they want a divorce. You will need to work on their concerns. Know that your spouse has a lot invested in the relationship. Use that investment to rebuild the marriage. Your spouse will have second thoughts about leaving from time to time. Give him or her every reason to stay.
Remember when you first met. You were probably not so intense with you spouse. You may have even overlooked or laughed at the flaws. Saving marriage is a serious business. But, if you make the repair process too intense, you will scare your spouse away. Instead, suggest that you do the things you used to do together for fun. When you can reconnect in small ways, the big things will take care of themselves.
If your marriage is important to you, then it is well worth saving it. As long as there is no abuse, you can save your marriage even if only one partner wants it. If you are the one that wants to save the marriage then you can do the work to fix it.
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