When we think about losing ourselves, we generally think of it in the sense of a romantic relationship. However, you can lose yourself in your family, your friends, and even your job.
Self-abandonment is the act of neglecting or disregarding one's own emotional needs. It often stems from the belief that the validation, approval, or care of others is more important than our own. This often leads to patterns of behavior that can harm our emotional health.
Self-abandonment is a lack of confidence. If you do things only to get validation from others, you lack self-confidence. You might be making some self-abandonment mistakes:
1. Not Setting Boundaries
Setting boundaries is a way of communicating your needs and limits to others. If you often find it difficult to say 'no', you might be abandoning your own needs and feelings.
Engaging in unnecessary drama can be draining. All your energy goes towards negative things. In the process, you end up losing your beliefs and even values. So, never engage in drama that does not bring positivity.
2. Decision Justification
You lack confidence if you need to bring the judge and jury to justify why you did something. You don't need assurance from others to stand on your own conviction. A person who is confident and has high self-esteem decides without any form of guilt. Every decision you make should be well thought out with you as the judge and jury.
3. Discarding Intuition
Do you often suppress your emotions, especially the negative ones, thinking they'll go away or are unimportant? Ignoring or denying your feelings is a form of self-abandonment. Your feelings are valid and are a crucial indicator of your well-being.
Check-in with your gut instincts. Our instincts or intuition are like a sixth sense. It alerts us when there is a danger of doing something. Instincts trigger your guts to alert you if something terrible happens. So if you have a gut instinct, you should never ignore it. They are guides to help you make the right choices.
4. Ignoring Emotions
Are you sticking around in relationships causing you more harm than good? Staying in toxic relationships is a major self-abandonment mistake. Don't ignore your emotions.
Your emotions reflect how you feel about something, even if you may not know everything about it. Positive emotions are love, peace, joy, awe, hope, excitement, etc. Destructive emotions include anger, guilt, or sadness. All these emotions help guide you in making the right decision.
5. Self-Doubt
Do you often criticize or belittle yourself? Negative self-talk can erode your self-esteem and lead to feelings of unworthiness. Be kind to yourself and practice positive self-talk. We have all been in situations where we postponed doing something due to fear or doubt. The more you delay things, the more the mind will find reasons not to do them. This will result in self-doubt and ultimately affect your confidence. So move with decisive action and don't waste precious time.
People will always criticize, no matter how good you are doing, and tend to gossip about it. However, you lose yourself when you let this get to you and wallow in self-disgust or pity. Believing in what other people say rather than your own is abandoning yourself. Brush off negative energy and fill yourself with a positive self-image.
6. Broken Promises
How often has someone asked you to do something you couldn't do for them? Did you end up saying yes, to make them happy? This is worse than saying no. Because you will likely not be able to fulfill the promise, this also applies if you plan to do something for yourself and don't do it. Make sure you put yourself first and fulfill promises without any regrets.
7. Self-burdening
While caring for others is noble, always putting others' needs before your own can lead to emotional exhaustion. Remember, self-care is not selfish. It's essential for maintaining your mental and emotional health.
Losing your true self is relatively easy if you burden yourself with things that weigh you down. Learn to know when to take a step back and listen to yourself and your body. Know when you need a break or a different approach. Free yourself of the load so you can be more confident in life.
Self-care is not just about bubble baths and spa days. It involves taking care of your physical, mental, and emotional health. Neglecting self-care routines can lead to burnout and decreased well-being.
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