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How To Save Your Marriage and Avoid Divorce

However, we live in a society where people marry and divorce all the time. So how do you save a marriage and avoid divorce in a culture where relationships don't last?

Marriage is not a fairytale or a movie with a happily-ever-after ending. It is a lifetime commitment that involves sharing your life with someone totally different from you. So, it's important to understand that your spouse is not perfect, and neither are you. Making adjustments to grow together becomes necessary to make it work. Here are some ways to help you save your marriage.

1. Control Your Reactions

Spouses tend to have a series of arguments or be defensive before a divorce. One spouse says or does something, and the other quickly retaliates. Become aware of your reactions. This requires self-discipline and, in some cases, patience. You do not want to say or do something wrong to make it worse. Instead of reacting, try acting upon your better judgment.

2. Listen First

Too often, the spouse who doesn’t want to leave will badger the divorcing spouse to talk. But, sometimes, your spouse needs emotional space. If this is the case, respect his or her wishes. Nothing you can say or do can make him or her talk if they are not ready. Take a raincheck. Give your spouse space, and start the conversation by listening when he or she is ready. Instead of trying to prove your point, understand the other person first.

3. Lower Your Expectations

You may have high expectations for the relationship. It is time to lower them a little. Share your fears, expectations, disappointments, and hopes with each other. When saving a marriage, things are not going to be perfect. Everyone has flaws, but bringing them up is not a good time. If some things annoy you now, you must live with them.

4. Address Concerns

Open and honest communication is a key component of a strong marriage. Create a safe space where both you and your spouse can express your feelings without fear of judgment or retaliation. Take your spouse's concerns seriously when they say they want a divorce. You will need to work on their concerns. Know that your spouse has a lot invested in the relationship. Use that investment to rebuild the marriage. Your spouse will have second thoughts about leaving from time to time. Give him or her every reason to stay.

5. Have Fun

Remember when you first met? You were probably not so intense with your spouse. You may have even overlooked or laughed at the flaws. Saving a marriage is a serious business. But, if you make the repair process too intense, you will scare your spouse away. Instead, suggest that you do the things you used to do together for fun. When you can reconnect in small ways, the big things will take care of themselves.

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Final Thoughts

If your marriage is important to you, then it is well worth saving it. As long as there is no abuse, you can save your marriage even if only one partner wants it. If you are the one that wants to save the marriage then you can do the work to fix it.

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